Wednesday, 09 July 2008
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To the people who make my world go round:
I just got back home from 6 weeks on the road. If any of you have been following my pictures or status' then you've realized I have had five horse camps and one week of vacation in Florida with my family and boyfriend. It has been a challenging and stretching 6 weeks and I feel like God has taught me SOOO much. I felt at my weakest so often in that time period and it was then that I knew God was working because things weren't happening in my strength thank goodness :).
I had a wonderful staff of girls throughout those weeks who kept me going and challenged me to better things. I love them all SOOO dearly and could NOT have made it without them. A few shout outs...
Faith - I love you SO much girl. I am thrilled that you got to do three weeks of camp with me. God is doing a mighty work in your life and even though this part of life is really tough and you are having to make hard decisions I know that He is making you a stronger, better, and more beautiful woman because of it. Thank you for keeping me organized and pouring into those little girls for those weeks. They loved you and you bring such a joy to the camp day.
Alaina - Haha, girl we have the craziest relationship ever I think. Thank you for those long talks about life and love and everything in between. Thank you for keeping me straight and organized and encouraging me to do the hard things and make decisions I may be shying away from. Thank you for working without complaining and for stepping up to the plate to lead worship even when you didn't know how to play guitar till recently.
Katherine - You know I was nervous about having you do horse camp with me considering I had never met you before but you exceeded all my expectations. You didn't complain no matter what task I gave you and stepped up to the plate. You put up with my weird personality and were a great help in the arena during horse lessons. I hope to get to know you better in the future and have you do more camps with me.
Kayla - It was SO good getting to know you better girl! I really enjoyed having you work for two weeks. I love your sweet nature and personality and how you worked to keep things running smooth and investing in those little girls lives. You always jumped in and did whatever I asked...whether it be saddling, or teaching lessons, or running your own rotation. You love the Lord and that is very evident in your life. I totally approve of you for my brother
Rachel - I was so glad that even though you didn't get to work very many weeks with me that you got to work at least one! You are my best friend and always will be...know that I love you and I am always there for you. These last couple months and especially weeks have been awful for you I know...but God has a plan. Let His love and joy fill you when you don't have any left "fill up my cup" ;). Thank you for your love and passion for the campers and for leading worship the week you were there.
Holly - Girl I love working with you! I do...you are so much fun and joyful and chill about things. You are my favorite person to teach lessons with because you can read me SO well. You love God SO much and that just shines and spills out of you. Your work ethic and never complaining attitude makes me never want to stop working with you cause you are such a joy to be around. You are a good friend and I see God doing amazing things in your life in the future.
Much thanks goes to all my host families...the Paradises, Hargreaves, Cantrells and more. I could also not have done my camps without my amazing apprentices: Sarah, Emily, Carly, Anna, Hannah, Ally, Melody, and Caroline. Y'all are awesome and worked so hard.
My family has also been amazing through this whole thing. Dad and John would come and trailer horses between camps for me and never complain. John allowed me to use his horse Sienna for camps and lessons which was awesome. Thank y'all SO much. Joe was flexible and let me borrow his girlfriend for three weeks which was a huge addition to our staff. Mary let me borrow her tack and Mom supported me so much by sending out fliers and recruiting students for my Athens camps. I couldn't even dream of doing this without their support.
And of course...my wonderful boyfriend TJ (and in a year...husband!!!! <3). He supports me SOOOO much by being flexible on calling times and allowing me to vent when I need to, cry if I can't help it and by encouraging me to seek Christ and work in His strength through it all. He is my dream man and SO much more and has changed my life in the last 2.5 years. I don't know what I would be without him...I don't like to think of that option. ;). He makes me feel like a princess and I am SO much more in love with him than I was when I told him "I love you" for the first time over two years ago. I respect and admire him like crazy and cannot wait to begin my forever with him. *smiles* I love you baby. You're my hero forever and the protector of my heart.
All glory goes to the Lord Jesus Christ who is my lover, friend, protector, Savior, director, and Lord of my life. Without Him I am nothing. :)
Thursday, 22 May 2008
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Thoughts from a wretched sinner: on truth and strength.
It's more like stream of consciousness...taken from a notebook I took with me earlier today when I needed some alone time to talk to God. I don't really know why I am sharing it -- and its not to show how idk...godly I am, cause I really am not -- I'm no more than a sinner striving in God's strength to serve Him (and failing daily at that I might add). I just felt like I should type it up. Some of it is blanked out because of the personal nature...haha I'm sorry if most of it doesn't make sense. My journals aren't very eloquent like a lot of peoples...so yeah. :)
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Gah. I feel like the scum of the earth. What's wrong with me...why am I feeling so...I donno, lost? *looks up at the sky* I feel so small. You are so big and glorious Father...how could you possibly want me?
Am I having a problem with faith? belief? seeking You? I know you are there...I know I am saved...I believe totally that I am a child of the King and I feel like I am in Your will. Why am I still feeling so "out" of the loop than?
I feel like I am fighting daily against sin...maybe I am not fighting in your strength like I am supposed too.
Burn out? Maybe. What happens when...you are fighting yourself. David talks over and over in the Psalms about You coming down and squishing "those who seek my life and to devour me" -- but what happens when "those" is...
me.
me.
Do I pray that you devour and squelch me? Ah...the "me" that is the old creation...why does she keep coming back. Dang it I hate fighting the flesh...but it's been so strong of late. *sigh* I've tried my strength God...I need you. I need your power. YOU are the only one who can give me the strength to fight the "wiles of the evil one" --- and me. ARG. I hate the old me...the old creation...the flesh.
I feel so weak God...but I KNOW you are strong. You are BIG. You are my God who is powerful and conquered death and sin FOREVER by dying on the cross. You are my tower, my fortress, my SAVIOR.
Why do I always feel so weak trying to run to you. Sheesh, I can't even do THAT by myself. I am always praying for strength to run to you it seems.
I'm sorry for ________, ________, and _________...I can't ever seem to win. It's a constant battle and fight...actually not really even a fight considering I always seem to be surrendering before the fight even begins.
*sighs* yeah. about that. Please forgive me Father...forgive me for so easily giving up on myself and not LIVING like I am forgiven and saved through grace.
I need self-control and to quit making excuses for myself. (Fruit of the Spirit) "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with all its passions and desires."
Psalms...my enemy is myself.
Armor of God. Am I fighting armed or doing it cold turkey.
Lately? Cold turkey. Ah! How stupid can I be? What haven't I been wearing...
<reading>
The belt of truth. *sighs* That's it. It hasn't been on...
How can I fight without this? How can I teach those little girls next week? Who am I to be an example of a godly life.
I will teach them about you God. That's what it is all about -- YOU. Who you are, what you are, how you are like. It is only by understanding who YOU are that we realize what WE are -- and then we see how much we really do need you. You are SO awesome and all-consuming Jesus.
Freedom. Do I live free? Or do I live like I am still a loser...I'm a winner -- well cause YOU are a winner. You conquered sin long ago, once and for all. I don't think I've been living like I am free. "...We are more than conquerers." I am victorious because my sin has been paid for.
Erase me of what I am God. I want to reflect you. I don't care at all if people see me...I'd rather them just see straight through to you. I'm nothing and you are everything.
Gal. 6:14. Wow Galatians seems to be the book tonight.
My sins are washed away...not BEING WASHED but WASHED. Past tense. You already bought me a long time ago. I need to live like it.
Consume me. Cleanse me. Purify me. Refine me. My hope is in you. Show me your way...guide me in TRUTH.
TRUTH. Truth. You are truth. What is truth? I know I haven't been standing firm in truth lately. Deception...lies...darts...the Devils pulled out all the stops. And where was I? Unarmed. Yeah.
I want to mount on wings like that bird up there God. Right now I feel SO far below where I want to be, should be. I don't know. But I want to learn from here...be used by you. Shake the waters for you. Make an impact.
Gal. 5: 6
It's a battle. I want in. But only armed and protected by you. Teach me Father...grow me...stretch me. I am weak and have SO much to learn. But I KNOW what truth is...I know where my hope is.
I love you God...do with me what you will...
Consume me from the inside out.
"Create in me a clean heart oh God and renew a right spirit within me."
Tomorrow...the sun rises...and with it, a new day comes. Haha, ahhhh thank you God for new days-- and forgiveness and...freedom. :) :) :) :) :)
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Wednesday, 26 March 2008
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Currently Listening
Confessions
By Usher
see relatedSpring Break: The Conclusion
This last and a half has been a whirlwind…but awesome.
If you read my Spring Break beginnings blog you know I left off and I was about to fly to Boston. That journey went well and I was soooo excited and blessed to stay with my hero for four days at his house with his family. We had a blast and hung out with friends, worked out, watched some movies, went to the aquarium, danced, and did some of our marriage counseling book. It was amazing…
. There are SO many
memories and things I could say on here…and a few I couldn’t () but I’ll
just sum it up by saying that I am THRILLED that God has placed TJ in my life
and he never ceases to bless and challenge me. It was cold there too…SNOW was
on the ground – quite a change for me hehe. On Friday I took a train from Springfield, MA to Penn Station, NYC. I then met Jeremiah at the station and we went to Kings College for the World Journalism Institute conference. After a meal of pizza and salad and a speaker our Bryan journalism group headed to our hostel for the night – that was an experience in and of itself.
Our hostel room (where the 7 girls stayed) was on the 7th floor of an 8 story hostel with an elevator that didn’t work. We got quite the glute and calf workout in the four days we were there let me tell you. The conference(s) we attended were very challenging and I learned a TON – especially at the CMA (college media advisors) conference. They had sessions from design to photography, to writing headlines or features, to preparing your resume and portfolio for a job. I would encourage anyone interested in a career in writing or journalism to attend the conference. It was very helpful and really gets you up to date on the tech stuff journalists need to be learning and skilled in and just basic writing techniques and styles for the web, newspaper, and magazine.
We didn’t JUST go to conference sessions though. Some girls and I went to “A Corus Line” on Broadway, we all went to Little Italy and Chinatown, went shopping (yay H&M and Forever 21), had crazy subway trips (poles and dancing
and surfing and getting off at the wrong stop), went to
the Met, took the ferry to Staten Is so we could see the Statue of Liberty all
lit up at night (I hadn’t got to see that for at least 8 years I think and we
also learned good ways too keep very warm hehe), went to central park (and
shared deep secrets while walking through haha), visited ground zero, and we
girls basically had a 5 day sleepover = blasty blast! 
No fear, we worked hard…and
played hard too. *grins*So this was my 5th or 6th time to NYC, I don’t remember…but I decided it’s not really a city that I like a ton. It’s dirty and very very crowded (duh). I like visiting for short periods of time but I don’t think I could EVER EVER live there. I am looking at doing a hip hop dance summer intensive at the conservatory in NYC for two months but after staying there again for just five days I was like…wow, I don’t know if I could handle two months there even if I was dancing every day mostly.
Anyhow, we went to the airport to fly back into the ATL and after walking to the gate I realized I had left my LAPTOP in security (haha I was really tired) so I dropped everything and ran all the way back to security in my sock feet – almost wiping out at the feet at one of the security ladies. My laptop was there thank goodness and I walked calmly, if not slightly heated, back to my gate and the trip was uneventful after that.
I stayed a day and a half at school and then drove down to GA to stay with Rach for a day before I went home for Easter. As usual it was a BLAST with the family – we went to my siblings track meet (go to the photo album for pics) and saw the White Horses of Lipizza perform in Athens. I also bought a wedding dress over Easter break (yes for me) – and NO I was not shopping for one and I’m not getting married for another year and a half and yes, I realize I am not engaged quite yet
. God just opened a door and I wasn’t gonna say
no! hehehe…Wow…this is really long, I think I shall save other thoughts for another day
Kudos to you if you read this whole blog *smiles*. Heres to finishing the rest of the semester (6 weeks) strong and working my butt off this summer.
Much love to you all <3
Saturday, 08 March 2008
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Currently Listening
Exclusive
By Chris Brown
see relatedSpring Break...the beginnings
I'm sitting at a window on the 14th floor of the Ritz-Carlton overlooking the city of New Orleans as it is bathed in a sunset. It has been an amazing learning-filled day/weekend. I am at a political meeting with Dad and really enjoying it. This afternoon they had a special screening of Ben Stein - Expelled, the new film coming out April 18th about Intelligent Design. It was engaging and very well done.
I hope to encourage all of my friends and peers to go out and see it when it comes out in a month or so. Finally something has come out that is aesthetically good, not blatantly Christian, and is a creative repackaging of a worn-out message. Point being...GO SEE IT. Oh, and buy out a theater while you are at it. Yesterday we heard from Sen. John Mccain who spoke about how he was going to promote conservative values and the family while in office as president - we'll see
. I'm not really a Mccain fan but I know he will be better than Obama and Clinton so I'm going to vote for him (never thought I would be saying that). Besides I do think that even though I don't agree with him on some things - or even a lot of things - he will make some good decisions for the US. One thing I was disappointed about, not that I didn't already know this anyhow, was during the question and answer time with us someone asked him a specific question about his faith -- he hemmed and hawwed and told some story about his time in Vietnam, but never said anything more than faith was important. Kinda sad...but at least he didn't lie and try to come off like he was a true believer. Enough of that.I met the Harris brothers of the "Rebolution" yesterday and spent a while brainstorming on how to change the world
with them (and Jared Gamble) today which was cool. On an aside, it's always so neat to come to these meetings/conferences and be encouraged at how many "mover and shaker" conservatives are making a big difference, but at the same time I am so weighted with the burden of how much more we have to do. The best thing to me though is that I know that Jesus Christ has already won and we are champions in Him...haha, but that still means we need to occupy enemy territory until He comes back. 
I've also been having a great time hanging with Dad. We took off yesterday morning and explored the French quarter in New Orleans and hada blast wondering around from Jackson square to Bourbon street (which is pretty calm and deserted at 8am in the morning) to Royal street and the Mississippi. I had some French doughnuts and a Po-boy sandwich as well. To top off our culture experience we ran into (literally) a parade of men wearing green and kilts drinking large amounts of beer (again around 8am in the morning) and following a float blaring celtic jazzish sort of stuff. They threw us strands of green beads and we wore them for the rest of the day. Haha, who knows what you will run into in New Orleans. Tonight I'm hoping to go hear some genuine LA jazz but we shall see.
Tomorrow morning I fly to Boston very early and I get to see TJ whom I haven't seen in almost three months!!!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!! I'll spend the next four days with him and his fam which will be amazing
. Happy day! After that I'll amtrak to NYC and go to two journalism conferences and hopefully say hey to some of my friends in NYC...a long break is still left hehe. Anyhow, I'll post more later.
-em out
Monday, 03 March 2008
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Currently Listening
Back of My Lac
By J Holiday
see relatedAn Update :)
It is a BEAUTIFUL day outside...I want spring SO bad - I just know it will get back cold again soon *sighs*. I have been listening to R&B all afternoon with the window open and doing homework. I am trying to work REALLY hard all this week so that I can NOT take any books or homework with me over break. I am SO excited about break. I am going to a political thing with Dad in New Orleans for two days and then spending five days with my amazing man in Boston and then taking a train to NYC to spend four days at a journalism conference in Manhattan. I am psyced!
That means it's 5 1/2 days till I see my man!!!!!! woot!!!!
Xanga is so dead y'all. It makes me sad.
Anyhow...life is good. I am very happy and contented. No it's not perfect and stuff goes wrong sometimes but I am very blessed and very loved.
Life is beautiful.
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- Name: Emily
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 1/1/2005
The dreamer:
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I am nothing without Christ...He is my true King, Prince, and Knight in Shining Armor. I seek to fall more and more in love with Him. It's such an adventure being a Christian!! I love life and people...I like to find the joy in the little things and make people smile. :)
